Inkheart: on the dangers of reading out loud.

We find ourselves in that most perilous week of the year, the week that flaunts the egregious power of words to create reality.  I speak, of course, of National Storytelling Week.

Since space is limited, I will highlight only one example of the perils of reading a story aloud.  Inkheart.  This prescient volume clearly lays out what happens when a young girl finds that she is able to call fictional creatures and objects into reality merely by giving voice to the passages in which they are written.  This haunting tale includes fairies, the Elvish language, travels throughout Europe, and--lest we forget--the summoning of the very villain for which the books is named.

If you read aloud, then the~~~~~ Nevermind him. I’ve only got a few seconds in the signal. Look, every study on Earth shows that reading is good for imagination, fires new synapses in the brain, and is generally really great fun because you get to use accents and voices and everything.  So read away!  And Inkheart is really fabulous. It’s like a book lover's wet dream. If I’m aloud to say that.  Anyway, fight the power! Read on! Don’t let them~~~~~so surely you can agree that this abominable practice ought to be utterly scorned.

How to Commemorate

• Read ANYTHING out loud!  Low on ideas?  We suggest The Hobbit, Fahrenheit 451, and anything by Janet Evanovich.

*Share your photos and celebrations on our Facebook or twitter pages.

Works Cited   

Inkheart

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Basement Week: Harry Dresden.

Powerful people are sent to basements.  So to give hope to those us who live/work in them, we are featuring some inspiring basement-dwellers.

Harry Dresden is the only wizard in the Chicago yellow pages.  He lives in the basement of an old boarding house with his cat Mister and his dog/mammoth Mouse.  And his skull named Bob.  Well, the skull isn’t Bob--Bob is the spirit of intellect who lives in the skull and helps Harry with cases when....

You know what? Let’s just back up a step.  If you haven’t encountered the Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher yet, consider this your late Christmas present.  These stories are like intense crossovers between paranormal mysteries and hardboiled detective novels.  They’re smart, gritty, funny, and the magical aspects are perhaps the best wordbuilding we’ve seen this side of Middle Earth.  And the audiobook versions narrated by James Marsters (yes, THAT James Marsters, Spike from Buffy) are out-of-this-world phenomenal.

Oh, and because Harry is a wizard, he tends to short-circuit electronics, hence living in a basement with no electricity.  And he has a sub-basement beneath THAT where he has his magical lab with summoning circle, depleted uranium, romance novels… you know. Magic equipment. You can start with the first book in the series, of course, but #7 Dead Beat with an animated skeletal T-Rex is a really fun way to get immersed.

How to Commemorate:

• Eat at Burger King.
• Accidentally set something on FUEGO!
• Read a paperback novel.
• Draw chalk circles everywhere you go.
• Play Dungeons & Dragons with werewolves. Or as close to werewolves as you can find. Try your local game store. (And, yes, I do play D&D. So what?)
• Extra-super-bonus points if you send us a picture of you playing the Harry Dresden RPG.

Works Cited   

The Dresden Files, by Jim Butcher.

Basement Week: Assistant Mayor Bellweather gives info to Officer Hopps and Nick Wilde. (Zootopia)

Powerful people are sent to basements.  So to give hope to those us who live/work in them, we are featuring some inspiring basement-dwellers.

Yeah, I took my grandkids to see Zootopia back when it was in theaters.  Cartoons aren’t normally my thing, but I really liked that one.  Even though it seemed so far out with all those different animals living in different zones of the city, it was somehow believable.  (Hang on, the English major is telling me that’s something about suspension of disbelief and plot cohesion.  If that means something to you, there it is.)

Anyway there’s that one scene where the assistant mayor sheep (Bellweather) takes them down to her office in the basement to give them information, and I leaned down to the grandkids and said “Yup, look out for that one.”  Just saying.

How to Commemorate:

• Visit parts of town you don’t normally go to.
• Eat carrots and/or popsicles.
• Get a pet. (Ok, maybe just volunteer at a shelter or something.)

*Share your photos and celebrations on our Facebook or twitter pages.

Works Cited   

Zootopia

Amazon    Barnes & Noble    Public Libraries

Basement Week: Tina is demoted to the MACUSA Wand Permit Office. (Fantastic Beasts)

Powerful people are sent to basements.  So to give hope to those us who live/work in them, we are featuring some inspiring basement-dwellers.

Tina Goldstein was an up-and-coming auror when she ruffled the feathers of MACUSA by assaulting a No-Maj who was beating that poor Second Salem boy. Then Tina was reassigned to the lowly basement of the Federal Wand Permit Office.

How to Commemorate:

• Make sure you know the location of your wand permit.
• Bake pastries shaped like your favorite beasts. (Making hot dogs is an acceptable substitute for the non-baking-inclined.)
• Befriend a No-Maj.

*Share your photos and celebrations on our Facebook or twitter pages.

Works Cited   

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

 

Basement week: Milton is sent to the basement without his red stapler. (Office Space)

Powerful people are sent to basements.  So to give hope to those us who live/work in them, we are featuring some inspiring basement-dwellers.

Milton Waddams (played by Stephen Root) is the adorable cog in the machinery who threatens to burn the place down.  As he says:

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

Milton ends the movie pretty well, as you may recall.  And--in our favorite case of fiction influencing fact--Swingline never made a red stapler until fans of Office Space kept contacting them to demand one.  Fiction wins!

How to Commemorate:

• Watch squirrels play outside.
• Color your stapler red.
• Talk like Milton.

*Share your photos and celebrations on our Facebook or twitter pages.

Works Cited   

Office Space

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Kilgrave is hit by a bus. (Jan 20)

Ever have somebody you wish you would get hit by a bus?  Like, someone who made your life a living hell, who broke your will and made you do all the things you hated?  Who took your strength and used it for their own purpose?

If so, you might be Jessica Jones. Or maybe a normal human.  Anyway, it was on January 20^th that Jessica was able to resist Kilgrave’s super-powered commands.  Bus hit ensued.  But that’s not the end of him!

How to Commemorate

• Wear a leather jacket, preferably with torn jeans and a blue scarf.
• Traditional food: whiskey, bourbon, or vodka. Whatever, just drink a lot. (Responsibly.)
• Find others with powers.  Super-strength, super-persuasion, what-have-you.
• Stay away from buses.

*Share your photos and celebrations on our Facebook or twitter pages.

Works Cited    

Jessica Jones

Amazon         Barnes & Noble        Public Libraries

Buffy's birthday! (Jan 19)

Though there is some dispute in the Whedonverse, the Joss finally decreed that Buffy Summers' official date of birth is January 19.  Slaying and conquering of the Hellmouth ensued.

How to Commemorate 

• Carry a wooden stake.  But not a dangerous one that could get you into trouble.  Maybe a pencil?  You know what? Screw it.  Just carry a cross.
• Use snark.
• Hang out in a library.  (I know, you were going to do that anyway.)

Works Cited
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (tv)

Pam Beasly uses all her vacation.

Dunder Mifflin is a challenging place to work, and you need to schedule some away-time.As Pam says: "I get ten vacation days a year and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. This year I got to the third week in January." 


That's THIS WEEK!

How to Commemorate

• Take a vacation. Ok, just plan a vacation.
• Replace a carpet.
• Leave a friend a series of voicemails about funny things happening at work.

Works Cited
The Office (U.S.), Season 2, episode 14 "The Carpet

Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington. (Jan 17)

On January 17, our brave* Bella moves from the bright sun of Phoenix to the sparkle-reducing clouds of Forks, there to consider the implications of immortality as no one had before.**

*Well, I say 'brave' but Katniss could kick her ass any day of the week, so maybe I should skip over this part.

**Well, except for Winnie Foster in Tuck Everlasting. Who is ten years old.

How to Commemorate

• Use forks for every meal.  Yes, even sandwiches.
• Decide with your significant other who is the "stupid lamb" or the "sadistic Lion."
• Play baseball.

Works Cited
Twilight

Amazon         Barnes & Noble        Public Libraries

Magnus Chase's Birthday (Jan 13)

A warm Midgard birthday greeting to Magnus Chase, our favourite einherjar!

How to Commemorate

• Die. (Just kidding--don't die!!!)
• Read "Make Way for Ducklings" (because of its rendering of the gateway to the Nine Worlds)
• Traditional food: falafel

Works Cited
The Sword of Summer, by Rick Riordan
The Hammer of Thor, by Rick Riordan

HAL turns 25. (Jan 12)

HAL (Heuristic Algorithm) becomes operational on January 12, 1992 in Urbana, Illinois. HAL will later oversee the Discovery One mission in 2001.

How to Commemorate:

• Call everyone Dave.  
• Wear red, especially red sunglasses. 
• Speak softly when telling people you're sorry, you can't do that.

Works Cited
2001: a space odyssey.

Nero Wolfe is hired to investigate the FBI (Jan 5)

Do you ever feel like the government might be getting a little too nosy?  This book might be for you.  The Doorbell Rang is a novel by Rex Stout featuring famed private detective Nero Wolfe who, in this case, goes head-to-head with the FBI and J.Edgar himself.  The book came out in 1965 when the FBI (and ol’ Edgar) were in a lot of hot water for all their snooping and record-keeping about national figures, so when a wealthy socialite rings Wolfe’s doorbell and asks to hire him, we know it’s going to be an epic clash of minds.

A word about Wolfe--he is one of the best fictional detectives you will ever encounter. I promise!  He’s a fat genius who tends orchids on the roof of his brownstone townhouse in New York, employs a French chef, and never leaves the house on business.  Instead, Archie Goodwin (who narrates all the stories) serves as Wolfe’s man of action--running around NYC to track down witnesses, connive people into revealing clues, and give the occasional rough-up to a tough guy.   

These books are BRILLIANT stories with that old-school detective voice and colorful, realistic characters and a mystery you can try to solve for yourself.  Pick some up today. (Or watch the A&E series which is also great).

How to Commemorate

• Ring every doorbell you pass.
• Shout “Phooey!”
• Drink a glass of milk (for Archie).

*Share your photos and celebrations on our Facebook or twitter pages.

Works Cited       

The Doorbell Rang (book)

Amazon           Barnes & Noble           Public Libraries

Works Cited       

The Doorbell Rang (A&E)

Amazon           Barnes & Noble           Public Libraries